The Gap

‘FAMILY: THE GAP BETWEEN WESTMINSTER AND THE REST’

One of the unexpected pleasures of lockdown has been the discovery that we can access talks by some of the best minds in society today, merely at the click of a mouse.  No need for lengthy and time-consuming – and costly - trips to London, there are zoom webinars, seminars and conferences on our computers, so I have become a zoom addict, signing up to any invitation that comes  my way – and they are mostly FREE, to boot.  If I miss any parts, most of them are streamed on YouTube to catch up later, wonderful.

One of the most inspiring discussions I have heard recently has been this webinar, organised by the Centre for Social Justice and ably chaired by the journalist, editor and writer Christina Odone who is the founder and Chair of the charity, ‘The Parenting Circle’.  She was formerly editor of the Catholic Herald and deputy editor of the New Statesman.  The Speakers were as follows:

A special introduction from the Secretary of State for Education, Rt Hon Gavin Williamson MP. together with four esteemed panellists:

David Goodhart, Equality and Human Rights Commissioner

Baroness Helena Morrissey DBE, Chair of the Diversity Project

Kat Osborn, CEO of Safe Families for Children

Paul Goodman, Editor of Conservative Home and Former MP

Watch the webinar for yourself here.

Gavin Williamson opened his address by admitting that the subject of families and children was a neglected area in government – an ‘orphan issue’.  But Mr Williamson believes that the Family is the bedrock of a strong and stable society and should be supported, both fiscally and morally, by government.  He acknowledged that the traditional family of mum, dad and 2.5 kids had radically altered in the past few decades – more mothers going out to work, more divorce, more dads sharing the domestic burden – but the basic need for a strong, supportive, permanent family remains unchanged.  Statistics show that children adopted into loving families do much better at Key Stages 2 - 4 than children who remain in the care system.  He touchingly reflected on his own experience of growing up with parents who were also foster-carers, so he had lots of foster-siblings and realised how privileged he was to have biological parents who loved and encouraged him.

So what should Government do to promote better family outcomes?  He told us that £14m had been invested to extend the provision of Family Hubs around the country, where parents can go to access help, advice or any other support.  The National Centre for Family Hubs would be run from the Anna Freud Centre for Children and Families, and an Independent Review was being set up by Josh MacAlister on children’s social care.  Equally, an inquiry into adoption and fostering practices in this country was being initiated by Krish Kandia, not to mention Andrea Leadsom’s lead on the First Critical 1001 Days Movement. Mr Williamson stressed the need for early, preventative care, to help families stick together and save further intervention down the line.  But he could not guarantee that these measures would be included in the upcoming Spending Review as that was down to the Treasury to decide.  He also mentioned an organisation called Operation Encompass, currently practised in  the South-West, involving schools, police and health services whenever a domestic abuse safeguarding issue was in question, and agreed that it should be rolled out across the board.

David Goodhart, author of two highly successful books, The Road to Somewhere (2017) and Head, Hand, Heart (2020), was the next speaker, in answer to the question:

What impact has the changing type of family life had on our society?

‘Lots!’ said David.  He believed that 2021 was a ‘hinge moment’ in the way we do things, re-booting domesticity for gender equality in the changing relations between men and women. But he thought we have the worst family/gender policy in the developed world and he was highly critical of our government.  Its fiscal policies towards families are not supportive of family issues, possibly because it is may be seen as illiberal, or anti-feminist, to support home life.  Women should be 100% focussed on their contribution to the work ethic – and the national coffers, surely?  But the pandemic has changed many things, including our attitudes to family life, and many people have rediscovered their own children with pleasure, as many feminist writers such as Alice Thompson and Madeleine Bunting have found.

David also referred to the Sewell Report, about ethnic disadvantage.  Apparently 63% of British Caribbean children – and poor white kids – live in single parent households, whereas only 6% of British-Asian children do, with varying social outcomes (more of the former group  in prison, e.g.)  Government must do more to help families stay together, to protect these children.

He believes we are in a post-feminist world – what he calls ‘pluralist feminism’ – where high-flying, professional women can still care for their own children.  He cited Mary Harrington’s suggestion of a return to ‘cottage industries’ where the mother at the laptop can still rock the cradle.

Christina then asked Baroness Helena Morrissey, successful businesswoman and mother of nine:

Is Business more willing to support families than Parliament?

Helena replied that most businesses are pragmatic, not ideological; they want their workforce to thrive and be engaged and they know the best way to achieve that is by fitting in round the demands of family life.  About 85% of women have a baby before the age of 45 – their most productive years – so if Business wants to get the best out of their workforce, they have to adapt to their needs to care for their young.

Next the former MP Paul Goodman was asked:

Why are politicians so against addressing family issues?

He replied that politicians follow votes – and capital, and most capital is now in the hands of the older generation, pensioners, rather than with younger people.  Besides, most Conservatives prefer measurable issues such as Tax and Universal Benefits to justify public spending.  They shy away from investing in family hubs or mental health, but the Conservative manifesto did admit that the cost of childcare was too high.

The last speaker was Kat Osborn, CEO of Safe Families for Children, who spoke eloquently about her experience of visiting ‘ordinary’ families at grassroots level.  She said the two besetting ills facing many young mums were isolation and trauma, and gave examples of each.  Her job was to train volunteers who could alleviate these social ills, by providing good role models to parents who lacked them in their own upbringings, thus keeping them away from social services.

Miriam Cates MP referred to recent Swedish research which implied that long hours in day-care outside the home had a negative effect on children’s outcomes, which was at variance with current UK government policy.  What did the panel think?

Helena Morrissey:  Mothers too are unhappy when separated from their kids for long periods and she wished she had spent more time with hers when they were young.  What about paying women to freeze their eggs for later?  Women are human, not robots, and they should have their families at the proper time, in their youth.  Children who spend long days in institutions are bound to be more nervous. The pandemic has shown us that we can still achieve good results in the workplace even when we work from home, so let’s free ourselves from the office.

Paul Goodman:  This Swedish research is not new, so what’s changed?  Political decisions should maximise CHOICE for parents, so he recommends a simple system of allocating a childcare allowance to be used by the parents as they wish – either to pay for outside childcare or to replace loss of earnings by caring for the children at home, or within the wider family.  High-quality childcare is fantastically expensive and the Treasury won’t like it but it is worth grasping the nettle to save future spending on ‘picking up the pieces’ of emotional neglect.

David Goodhart:  There is too much pressure on schools to pick up the parenting tab – and they can’t do it. Not enough hours in the day. More children would perform better at school if they had been parented at home when young.  A huge majority of mums would prefer to stay at home with their infants.  We have an appalling policy framework with no recognition for stay-at-home mums in our tax system. The current ideology is dominated by a sub-group of high-performing elitist women who do not represent the general population.

Helena Morrissey:  Is she in that category of ‘alpha females’?  She has campaigned for more gender equality in business so that more MEN can spend more time at home with their little ones.  We must not squeeze children into a goals-oriented lifestyle.

How can we encourage men to be kinder to their partners and mothers of their children?

Kat Osborn: We must create space for more men to be seen and heard in the family.  Not ‘talked at’ by professionals, but helped by volunteers from well-functioning households to spend time with dysfunctional households, to lead by example.  Modern liberalism has disempowered men by taking away their breadwinning role and failing to replace it with anything else, so they feel marginalised and side-lined.  Health Visitors and midwives should include men in the whole birth process, and more men should be encouraged to take up caring professions such as nursing or primary school teaching.

Helena Morrissey:  It is good that the Secretary of State for Families is a man.  There is currently only one male job-share in AVIVA, which works well, allowing each man to spend time at home with his family.  More job-shares among men should be encouraged; there is more to life than career success.

Kat Osborn:  Government should empower the Third Sector (i.e. volunteers) to help families.

Helena Morrissey:  It is good that this debate is being aired.  There is a deafening silence on the part of politicians, especially on the subject of the Couples Penalty, where couples get paid more to split up than to stay together!  Government should voice their support for marriage – and follow it up with policy.

David Goodhart:  The prevailing moral climate is the most important single thing for changing public behaviour and attitudes.  If there were more stigma attached to dads leaving the mothers of their children in the lurch, this would make more difference to behaviour than government subsidies.  We offer much less family support than in other countries, so many couples split up over arguments about money.  With more financial support, couples would be more likely to stay together.  Government needs to address the tax system, to make it easier for parents to look after their own children.

Paul Goodman: We are more influenced by the people around us – parents, siblings, friends (especially in the teenage years), and good teachers.  What if government didn’t exist?  I.e. the argument of the State vs. the Individual?  But Government must be there and make good policies for everybody’s welfare.

Is there a role for the youth sector in supporting families?

Kat Osborn:  Remember TLG – Transforming Lives for Good.  We must each widen our own circles to reach out to help others in less fortunate circumstances.

Christina Odone summed up the main contributions made by each of the four panellists and the meeting closed.

Sally Greenhill